Argonaut Aura

Somehow or the other, i tend to leave a ‘domineering’ first impression, esp with Singaporean guys. Loud, bossy, noisy, alpha male female are juz some connotations. I think it may have been the quickwarmer and trusting personality i have.. unlike most pple that needs to ‘warm up’, i need to ‘cool down’ when meeting pple. i’m usu more trusting than i probably should and i like to meet pple from diverse backgrounds (values, cultures and all), often curious to know more abt the pple whom i bump into. i guess, that’s why i dun have much qualms to approach a stranger and such ‘dares’ are relatively less stressing for me than others~ i also like to think of myself as a connector, a point of reference for many. i like to intro pple to pple and like to be introduced too~ =)

but somehow, my eagerness or over-eagerness (as some may see it) come across to be slightly intimidating. i am also one with many dreams and hopes.. in my eagerness to push for them to be realised, it may again be conveyed in the wrong light, viewed to be pushy or imposing. the thing is that i do respect the fact that pple have different dreams or even expectations of how things shld be, the norms of the society to be adhered to..

sometimes i also think that i gotta work on my expression and reception skills.. cos messages sometimes dun get conveyed the way i intended it to be and i dun read much into messages that pple are sending.. i like honest feedback but i still need to work on evoking and internalising changes within myself.. subtly, i felt that i have toned down over time though i still ought to keep an eye on it to keep it in check.

AGGRESSION stems from insecurities whereas ASSERTION stems from self-confidence. Sometimes, it’s a vibe apart. you could be saying the same things but sounding or coming across as completely different. I guess it’s difficult to distinguish the two and depending on your audience, it may still be read differently no matter what. Take Obama as an example. Part of the reason for me being stuck in an infinity singularity loop might be this (esp with reference to Singaporean guys). But i believe that it is possible to evolve into a more alpha female female, one e.g. is Catherine McQueen. I chanced upon her at Hacienda when she’s in town where she was spinning the turntable (gorgeous DJ!). How cool is that? Though i still dun quite know her, she had came by a pretty impressive path in her last 30 years (acc to wiki and her website) and her alpha-femaleness seems pretty high (though i don’t think you need to be a model to be considered alpha female).

I guess sometimes females over-compensate due to the inherent bias and underlying ‘discrimination’ around us. But females are noted to be more of a transformational leader (acc to HBR’s Women and the Labyrinth of Leadership) and i think that glass ceiling or not, females can still blaze their own trail either collectively or individually. It is not what is presented to you that matters but what you make out of it in your mind. How you perceive it to be. It’s all in your mind (just don’t be isolated there and miss the real action taking place around you). I am still keeping up with my positive thinking, regardless of how pple may perceive or even misperceive me. External validations are great but not necessary.

Somehow it seems easier to tell on the dance floor whether your salsa partner is aggressive or assertive. =) Aggression involves using force at the wrong spots and time bars but assertion is when tension keeps your dance flow and steps to be smoothly in place. The wondrous state is to be able to dance smoothly without even needing to think (Yes, it can be done even without prior practice together). That’s when you flow with the music and moves with your partner as one. =)