mutual referral network March 7, 2009
Posted by rainelai in Life, business, crazy or cool ideas series, entrepreneurship.Tags: dating, friends referral, idea
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i often lament abt the lack of ‘good guys’ in Singapore who are not gay, married (or attached) or dead. A friend commented that the only way to get attached is during school (i’ve grad), through friends or by joining interest groups.
For most of us who have tossed our hat or perhaps books into air, we are only left with friends or interest groups. both means have their limits.
For interest groups, ur base assumption is that you and your ideal half shares the same interest or at least the same passion in something deep enough to commit into a class/group/network. the truth is, we never know. my experiences so far in picking up multitude of things ranging from multiple sports, language, dances still hit 3 walls.
1. the guy to girl ratio is bad. more females ALWAYS.
2. u still get stuck to the group u signed up with until they all dropped out. by then u might have dropped out too.
3. u are too focused on learning what u’ve paid to learn and there’s no real reason/excuse for you to interact. esp with ur packed schedule before and after.
For friends, of course the limit is your own network as well as your friend’s. The good thing is, in one way or another, you will definitely have the ‘networker’ as your friend (at least on fb). there might just be someone out there who may fit the bill but u’ll never know till chance encounters come by. Why do one leave something as important as ur own happiness to chance then?
So, we shld stop lamenting and join the mutual referral network.
how does it work?
*all users have to be single and be physically located within Singapore*
1. as a user, take a simple psychoanalysis test that tries to define key attributes (mix of personality/physical characteristics) of your ideal partner.
2. run through your single friend’s list and their single friends to find a match through both of your active contact list. once a successful match is found, the result is sent to the first degree contact only if a vice-versa match is sourced. i.e. results of your friend(assume J)’s friend matched to you will be sent to J only if there is also a match to J(who is also single) that is also sent to you.
3. now J has a list of friends to refer to you and vice versa of the same length. both of you will have to assess the list and take it from here. you can arrange face-to-face meetup, online introduction etc. The idea is that it has to be mutual where one helps the other in terms of assessing the match, making the connection etc.
feasible? this can be done as an app tapping on social networks or mobile phone contacts. now we juz need to put it to work. =)
Yes, we can! November 5, 2008
Posted by rainelai in events.Tags: Mc Cain, Obama, president, united states
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Today marks the onset of a new chapter in history as the new president of United States is elected. The campaign started since last year, at a time when eyebrows were raised over the prospect of the first black or female president (my last posting after Clinton lost the race was in june).. As Obama has clearly articulated through himself and his speeches, change has come to America. He had a great speech delivered in Chicago and even brought his family on stage. Mc Cain also mastered a gracious concession speech (seriously one of the most difficult speech anyone had to do).
Thought that Obama could have allowed the buildup with the crowd esp at his parting statement..
Draw the parallels between the contents and observe the delivery differences…
Mc Cain’s attribution of failure to himself was stunning (note the smile that flickered with the crowd reaction)..
Now that the election finally comes to a close, the race however, has only begun. America still faces immense challenges ahead of her and the world watches as Obama is now at the helm. The new term may prove most challenging but Obama kicked off on a good start (gearing people’s hopes and reviving confidence.. just watch the stock market reactions!). Hopefully everything else unfolds nicely too! =)
The not-so-difficult Tiramisu Recipe October 19, 2008
Posted by rainelai in Life.Tags: bakery, dessert, tiramisu
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Had great fun making tiramisu today based on a passed down recipe from frens.. here’s the steps:
1. go cold storage and get more lady fingers (a type of french biscuit), cocoa powder, whipped cream, plastic containers (square or rectangular ones that fits the length of the lady fingers), rum (u shld have gotten from the airport, bacardi is fine but try kahlua if you can), fine sugar, coffee powder
2. dissolve the coffee powder with some hot water but add cold water in too (the mixture needs to be cooled), add the alcohol in after the whipped cream is done
3. use 4 egg-yolk to 1L of whipped cream to 100g of sugar. beat the whipped cream and sugar first till fluffy (machine recommended) and then fold the egg-yolk into the whipped cream together with spoonfuls of alcohol
4. dip the sugary side of the lady finger into the coffee+ alcohol combo and stack the lady fingers neatly at the base with the wet layer up
5. scoop the whipped cream to form an even layer on top, then sieve the cocoa powder onto the layer (beware of potential cocoa mess!) until it forms a nice coat
6. proceed with step 4 and 5 again until the container brim is filled (this usually involves 2-3 layers)
7. put the tiramisu into the fridge and it’ll be ready for consumption! yum!
StepOut on 17th Sep 08 September 3, 2008
Posted by rainelai in events, ladies, women.Tags: Bluestocking, event, stepout, women
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- kat (for her dedication, great work in speakers connection, design and many many stuff)
- janet (for getting us all together, for pulling ideas and injecting fun)
- mich and gwen (for the linkups and support)
- the 3 amazing ladies, Yiping, Virgina Cha and Kim Faulkner (for taking time to share their start-up experiences with us at our debut event)
- Christopher, the boss (for sharing his start-up experiences and allow us to mingle at geek terminal)
- Danny, the barista (for helping us concoct our signature drink~ cheers!)
- the attendees (for making it all worthwhile)
- the supportive community (for the many referrals and help received)..
Aggressive or Assertive? August 6, 2008
Posted by rainelai in Life.Tags: aggressive, alpha, assertive, catherine mcqueen, female, singaporean guys
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Somehow or the other, i tend to leave a ‘domineering’ first impression, esp with Singaporean guys. Loud, bossy, noisy, alpha male female are juz some connotations. I think it may have been the quickwarmer and trusting personality i have.. unlike most pple that needs to ‘warm up’, i need to ‘cool down’ when meeting pple. i’m usu more trusting than i probably should and i like to meet pple from diverse backgrounds (values, cultures and all), often curious to know more abt the pple whom i bump into. i guess, that’s why i dun have much qualms to approach a stranger and such ‘dares’ are relatively less stressing for me than others~ i also like to think of myself as a connector, a point of reference for many. i like to intro pple to pple and like to be introduced too~ =)
but somehow, my eagerness or over-eagerness (as some may see it) come across to be slightly intimidating. i am also one with many dreams and hopes.. in my eagerness to push for them to be realised, it may again be conveyed in the wrong light, viewed to be pushy or imposing. the thing is that i do respect the fact that pple have different dreams or even expectations of how things shld be, the norms of the society to be adhered to..
sometimes i also think that i gotta work on my expression and reception skills.. cos messages sometimes dun get conveyed the way i intended it to be and i dun read much into messages that pple are sending.. i like honest feedback but i still need to work on evoking and internalising changes within myself.. subtly, i felt that i have toned down over time though i still ought to keep an eye on it to keep it in check.
AGGRESSION stems from insecurities whereas ASSERTION stems from self-confidence. Sometimes, it’s a vibe apart. you could be saying the same things but sounding or coming across as completely different. I guess it’s difficult to distinguish the two and depending on your audience, it may still be read differently no matter what. Take Obama as an example. Part of the reason for me being stuck in an infinity singularity loop might be this (esp with reference to Singaporean guys). But i believe that it is possible to evolve into a more alpha female female, one e.g. is Catherine McQueen. I chanced upon her at Hacienda when she’s in town where she was spinning the turntable (gorgeous DJ!). How cool is that? Though i still dun quite know her, she had came by a pretty impressive path in her last 30 years (acc to wiki and her website) and her alpha-femaleness seems pretty high (though i don’t think you need to be a model to be considered alpha female).
I guess sometimes females over-compensate due to the inherent bias and underlying ‘discrimination’ around us. But females are noted to be more of a transformational leader (acc to HBR’s Women and the Labyrinth of Leadership) and i think that glass ceiling or not, females can still blaze their own trail either collectively or individually. It is not what is presented to you that matters but what you make out of it in your mind. How you perceive it to be. It’s all in your mind (just don’t be isolated there and miss the real action taking place around you). I am still keeping up with my positive thinking, regardless of how pple may perceive or even misperceive me. External validations are great but not necessary.
Somehow it seems easier to tell on the dance floor whether your salsa partner is aggressive or assertive. =) Aggression involves using force at the wrong spots and time bars but assertion is when tension keeps your dance flow and steps to be smoothly in place. The wondrous state is to be able to dance smoothly without even needing to think (Yes, it can be done even without prior practice together). That’s when you flow with the music and moves with your partner as one. =)
Alpha females July 29, 2008
Posted by rainelai in Uncategorized.Tags: alpha, females, males
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had a pretty interesting discussion on alpha females over the weekend at redang and a pretty good trip too. these days traveled quite a bit outta town with colleagues and sometimes together with other frens too. =)
alpha refers to the ’superior’ species, prolly about top 20% of the population. alpha male is not a new concept and it evolved back in the days of caveman and all. alpha female however seemed pretty new a concept. the definition of alpha male and alpha females are disparate as the varying gender role in society called for different versions of the alpha. Interestingly, alpha females are attracted to alpha males contrary to popular belief of her with a more submissive man. It is possible to improve your alpha-ness but is it necessary for everyone to be alpha? How varied are the personalities amongst the alphas?
According to AskMen.com, ‘When you can make women feel both listened to and led, both recognized and guided , then you will carry a “vibe” about you that no busting, sarcastic, “Alpha” loudmouth could ever even hope to imitate, much less realize and enjoy.’
alpha females (according to a friend’s opinion) is one who is able to use her charms to assert, has social poweress, complemented by good looks and physique, with no need for external validation. Females traditionally hold the role of a protector whereas men are more of a hunter.. alpha-male females may be necessarily useful in certain context (e.g. as a boss, in a competitive workplace, as an entrepreneur) but alpha females may still turn out better eventually.
perhaps we are striving to be alpha females in our own regards (realms of imagination and definitions). =)
Rebirth of Bluestocking – Yay! June 17, 2008
Posted by rainelai in entrepreneurship, ladies, women.Tags: Bluestocking, entrepreneurship, female
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The stars are aligned and somehow i got a few signs along the way (3 signs alone today!) that it’s finally happening.
Bluestocking is reborn and our BHAG is to be:
‘The Ultimate Women Entrepreneurship Organisation of the World’
Even though we took a bit of a detour for the past year, things are finally shaping up and looking good!
Our debut event is gonna take place in end aug/early sep. Watch out for it! =)
Let us know how you will like to be involved in it too!
P/S: Event audience is restricted to females only but any facilitation from the guys are welcomed
Female Entrepreneurship – a joke here? June 15, 2008
Posted by rainelai in ladies, technology, women.Tags: Bluestocking, entrepreneurship, female
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Interestingly, a female PhD researcher published in 2000 that the ratio of women to men of total business owners (number of women per 100 men) in Asia and the Pacific in the 1990s is only 22.
one of the lowest of all the regions in the world. Why the disparity? In developing worlds and what we know as ‘harsh economic conditions’, female entrepreneurs are actually comparable and perhaps outnumber male entrepreneurs. The differences could be driven by survival instincts or cultural and societal impediments.
i tink a scan in singapore’s context may reveal similar results. Try talking to the ladies here about entrepreneurship and see what you get. The small business concepts may emerge, like retail and food; both online and offline. But it’s not likely u’ll venture into google-like businesses, be it tech oriented or not. Can there be a female mark zuckerberg in singapore? To start with, is there even female mark zuckerberg wanna-be(s) in Singapore?
The research paper also demonstrated a few characteristic tendencies of women business owners:
- Risk-taking propensity,
- focus,
- high energy level,
- personal motivations,
- married,
- first born,
- self-employed father,
- general business management skills,
- social adroitness,
- interpersonal skills,
- competence in finance,
- and in managing relationships
with a long list of impediments in terms of technology, education, training, credit access and to top it off double shift, double burden (which refers to the dual duties at work and at home).
Interestingly, the paper points to women’s ability to focus intensely as the key success characteristic. I will say the ability to multi-task and yet focus intensely is the key. It also points to women’s business associations part in providing support for these females. Here’s a quote:
‘As women watch one another, learn from one another, and communicate more freely, these networks expand… In addition business associations provide a system of bonding. “Women certainly do seek out opportunities to assist other women” Sharon Hadary, executive director of NFWBO asserted, “So many of the issues and problems are the same. The bond of being a woman business owner supersedes the cultural differences.” Without women’s business organizations, Women Entrepreneurs in the Global Economy entrepreneurs say they feel isolated. “Isolation is a dream killer,” and it is most certainly a business killer as well.’
This clearly points to the need for a female entrepreneurs network which might be largely informal and untapped upon now.
Besides, the Hillary’s ‘oh-so-close’ campaign did throw some world attention to the sexism topic and in her words:
“Although we weren’t able to shatter that highest, hardest glass ceiling this time, thanks to you, it has about 18 million cracks in it and the light is shining through like never before.”
Don’t be mistaken that this post is about to declare a war between sexes. It’s real intention is to understand if there is a dearth of female entrepreneurs here and if a network (such as bluestocking) may have scope to make a difference. My belief is yes and the goal is to enable/support/nurture a female mark zuckerberg and more here. Do help us realise this vision in whatever ways you can (regardless of your sex)! =)
